Somewhere along the way I heard a bit of wisdom I have returned to many times. It goes something like this:

If you want to know how you are doing spiritually, pay attention to what comes out when you are squeezed.

Just as an orange cannot help but surrender its juice when pressed, neither can we disguise how we are truly doing when we are pressed by the vice of life. When disease, financial distress, or other traumas bear down upon our shoulders, their weight is impossible to escape. And the added weight eventually reveals what is happening inside of us.

In short, trauma reveals what is within in our hearts.

I am not the first pastor to observe that the pandemic is bringing about a sort of spiritual discovery for many of us. As we are subjected to more isolation, self-examination begins. Personally, I am actively plumbing my personal depths during this season, and I have been somewhat dismayed at what I have discovered. I have found anger lurking just below the surface. I have also found that I have a handy justification for my anger. Furthermore, I have found that my justification for my anger is, in fact, not what I am angry about at all.

I’ve been squeezed. And I’ve seen who I truly am. And I imagine you have, as well.

Recent events have squeezed more than individuals. They have squeezed our institutions. More importantly, they have squeezed our churches.

Churches are experiencing epochal squeezing. The combination of the pandemic, race discussions in the wake of George Floyd’s death, and an election year are unlike anything I have seen in my lifetime. Churches are responding to the combination of these cultural vices in a variety of ways. I have been dismayed at what I see coming out—both on the Left and the Right.

From some I see a renewed and heightened nationalism bordering on fanaticism. They run to paint Jesus and America into the same historical mural, brushing over the portions they do not like. Others are defending violence and destruction in the name of what they call justice. They are ready to burn down civilization, but they have no plans for how to build. Others adamantly and publicly declare that racism does not exist today—and they claim it may never have existed. Still others see complex political conspiracy theories behind current events—while these current events affect those far beyond American politics. Vitriol is high. Civility is low. Love is almost absent.

The church is being squeezed. I don’t like what is coming out.

One helpful aspect of being squeezed is the benefit of diagnosis. You suddenly see yourself as you truly are. If you are honest and willing to do the work, you can begin to experience healing. It is not pleasant, but it is beneficial.

I wonder if God is squeezing His church so that we can see just how broken it is.

I wonder if God is giving us a moment to see what is coming out—from our public personas, our pulpits.

I wonder if God is allowing us to diagnose how sick we are so that we will seek to become well.

I cannot help but remember what Jesus asked the man who had been sitting by the Pool of Siloam:

“Do you want to get well?”

I am not convinced many in the church believe she is sick. But from what I see, we are in desperate need. I am committing to faithfully pastor my church as best I can through this season, because I want us to emerge from this much stronger than we were—healthier than we were. I also want other pastors to watch—honestly—at what is happening to the American church. I want them to assess what they see coming out of their congregations in this moment of squeezing. I want them to ask, “Are we honoring Jesus? Are we furthering His Kingdom? Or are we serving as pawns in culture wars?”

The diagnosis will likely be painful. Being squeezed often is.

But the Lord loves to redeem. The Lord loves to heal.

I pray He is doing so again.